Wednesday, December 3, 2008

My lil secret...

shhh, I am about to let you in on something. Keep in mind, that I am in a very vulnerable state just now-so don't judge!

I totally may have told you this before, but here it goes again: I am scared of the dark. Seriously, I am and I can't help it!

So, you know we moved, and we like our home, and it's old and yada yada...well the fact that we are in a new place, and it's old, add those both together and they equal an even scarier darkness! Seriously people.

Matt left me here, all alone. Sure, it's work and he couldn't tell his boss, "I can't go, sorry-my wife is scared of the dark and will have a heart attack before bed each night if I'm not there.." So, not only am I wrangling kids all day with no relief to greet me at 4:30 or so each evening...I am alone! Like, scared-allbymyself-crouched-in-a-corner-with-my-eyes-darting-wildly-back-and-forth-to-be-sure-there-are-no-boogie-men-about-to-suck-my-blood! THAT kind of alone. I don't know what it is, but morning comes and I am totally fine, like every other day. My kids keep me company, mostly. I do what I need to do and get everything ready for the evening. THEN they go to bed, and fall asleep, and it's so so quiet. Like, I hear things creaking and don't like it, kind of quiet. Creepy. Matt would kill me if he knew how many lights I am leaving on in his absense, but come on-I have no CHOICE! As soon as it gets dark and the house is quiet, I start feeling extremely paranoid. Paranoid that things, don't ask what kinds of things though, are lurking behind every shower curtain, or window. I NEVER look out the window at night, cause I don't want to KNOW if something is looking back! I have always, always had these *paranoias* and thought I found a solution: my life companion, ie my husband..but I never thought he would ever leave me alone. But he does. Cause he's a big meanY!

Moriah had to finish her semester in NC, so she isn't here to hold me.

Are you scared of anything?

3 comments:

Nichole said...

I'm a little afraid of the dark, too. I don't like to look out the windows at night. I'm afraid someone will be looking back at me!

(It gives me the shivers just to think about it.)

tiffany said...

Same thing but dh travels enough that I am pretty used to it now. I dont go to some areas of the house after dark and I stay up way too late until I am just exhausted but I manage ok. Harder in a new to you house and area though!

kimmyk said...

i'm not really afraid of the dark, i'm more afraid of WHAT'S in the dark, y'know???

and something happening to my kids. that thought sends me over the edge.