Saturday, January 10, 2009


Today is a better day. Actually the last few have been better. I have a problem of being completely over-emotional about anything negative. Sadly, I don't have the same reaction to positives. I wish I did. I'd love to feel overjoyed or over-excited over something to the same degree I feel negative emotions. I just don't and never have.

I feel like I am still recovering from such an emotional storm. It has completely wiped me out physically. I have been more bloblike than I usually am. I don't like that. I want my zest back. I want to do exciting and fun things with the kids, I just don't have it in me right now. The blob-part takes over.

Work has been better and less, which is better too. I was going in so often, I couldn't catch my breath. Couldn't get anything done at home, which always puts a cloud over me. Now, things have settled and we have nothing going on at all and I find myself almost underwhelmed instead.

Matt and I have made amends, and I am thankful. I am thankful he can (after several days and much chocolate) break through my wall of anger the way he does. He's probably the only one who could, or who would bother to try.


kimmyk said...

I'm glad you and Matt are on the mend. Hurt is worse than anything when it comes to loved ones.

Secondly, I hate when everything I wanna do I can't cause I just don't have the energy. It's the season...

Anonymous said...

Glad I found a window .
I'll keep watching

So glad for you.
I'm glad for Matt too.
Forgiveness is it's own reward.
Enjoy every moment with your little ones, eaven the down times.
One of my fondest memories is sitting on the couch on a rainy day with the kids frloicking around, and a strange cat laying out "in" the drapes.

any way, God bless you , your kids and husband.

Aunt Becky said...

So glad that things are looking up. Baby steps, baby steps.

Anonymous said...




tiffany said...

I am glad you are feeling better and I hope full joy returns soon.

cc1sillygoose said...

It will defin get better. I am happy you two made amends. :)